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Rightly Ordered Relationships: Sexuality, Friendships, Dating, and Gender

Seek Christ and Holiness in Every Sphere of Life

In partnership with Bethlehem College & Seminary
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Christian Friendship and Gender Confusion


About Dr. Rosaria Butterfield

Rosaria Butterfield was once a tenured professor of English who identified as a lesbian and worked to advance the cause of LGBT equality. After her conversion to Christ in 1999, she came to see the sinfulness of having any identity apart from Him.
Rosaria is married to Kent Butterfield, pastor of the First Reformed Presbyterian Church of Durham, and is a home-school mother, pastor’s wife, author, and speaker. She is helping Christians to better understand their LGBT neighbors and loved ones so that we can lovingly look past labels of sexual identity and share the gospel effectively.


Reflection Question

How does same-sex attraction as an indicator of personhood threaten to distort the foundational human reality of friendship?



Resources prepared by Tyler Stitt from Bethlehem College & Seminary.

The Church’s Posture Toward Homosexuality and Singleness


About Nick Roen

Nick Roen is Pastor for Worship at Sojourners Church. He grew up with a passion for music that led him to participate in church worship ministries since 7th grade. Nick’s goal is to help the people of God respond to the revelation of God in worship to God through corporate singing.

Nick grew up in La Crosse, WI, making him a hopeless Packers fan. He graduated from the University of Wisconsin, La Crosse with a Bachelors degree in Music Theory and Composition. After college, he served as the full-time Program Director at Arrowhead Bible Camp in New Auburn, WI for four years. Nick recieved his Masters of Divinity from Bethlehem College and Seminary in 2015 and has been at Sojourners since June of 2015. Nick enjoys camping, fishing, waterskiing, and golf.


Reflection Questions
  1. What definitions of distinctions did you find helpful?
  2. How does the gospel offer an “alternative script” for those dealing with same-sex attraction?
  3. How does a biblical view of singleness aid the Christian who struggles with same-sex attraction?

  • Sam Allberry, Rosaria Butterfield, & Jackie Hill Perry - Why Is God’s Sexual Ethic Good for the World?

Homosexuality in the History of Ideas


Reflection Question

How does the biblical vocabulary we are given in God’s word (regarding personhood, original sin, and sexuality) appropriately set the stage for a Christian discussion of homosexuality?

Friendship and Dating Relationships


  1. Why is it important for single people to have married couples as friends (and vice-versa)?
  2. How does the brother/sister-in-Christ category help describe some of the dynamics between Christian friends? Where are the limitations to this analogy?